The Coupon "Rush"…
As I walk up to the register, my hands start to tremble and my heart starts to beat. My eyes are moving around quickly… I am trying to catch at least a glimpse of each cashier. The cashiers that look the most promising get yet another glance from me. Oh who should I choose… decisions, decisions. As I walk closer to the cash registers, my breathing picks up speed and the sweating starts to ensue. Yes, I am getting near the point of what I like to call “Coupon Chaos”.
I choose the cashier, the hardest decision of all, a guy in his early 20s who looks as though he just came from the beach. He smiles and I begin to nervously chat… I am not sure what exactly I’m saying, but things are definitely coming out of my mouth. With each item I put on the belt, my talking (if that’s what you want to call it) picks up pace. Soon enough, I have to completely stop as I’m running out of breath! Oh, I am so close to the finish line.
The “surfer dude” (the young cashier who appears to have come from the beach) lets me know my total… my very high total I might add! As my hand shakes, I smile nervously and pull out my coupons. The mountain of coupons I’m pulling out don’t all make it on the counter, so I bend down to pick up the ones that have taken the plunge to the ground. As I bend over, I am so thankful that I chose to wear a long shirt as I am wearing low-rise jeans and well, bending over and low-rise jeans don’t really go together. 😉
As I hand him the coupons, one by one, yes, I am that anal… I notice the person behind me. A lady in her mid 30s with a in-a-hurry look on her face. She glances at my large pile of coupons and has a very confused look on her face. As the coupons keep getting scanned, I can feel the tension build up behind me. Finally, I hear her high heels tapping the ground with force… she wants me to know that I have inconvenienced her day in a big way. I ignore her knowing that I’m almost there… I am at the home stretch.
As the “surfer dude” scans my last coupon, I let out a large exhale. Phew… I feel like I’ve just run a marathon! The ‘Surfer dude” states, “Wow! You saved $91.50 and your grand total is just $2.39.” I smile slowly trying to contain my excitement and pull out my money. I am able to give him the exact change. He hands me the receipt as my smile grows. I stand there with pride as I look up and down that magnificently long piece of paper. Life is good!
As I leave the store, I know beyond any reasonable doubt that every part of getting to the moment of victory is so worth it in the end. And now I can head home with my head held high and brag to anyone who will listen.
I love your picture Collin, you have fear in your eyes and a determined expression and stance. YOu go get’em girl!
Sounds like me last night. Once, I took my blood pressure when I got to RiteAid (in that little chair in pharmacy) and again when I came back in to do a 2nd transaction. It was 7 points higher!
But it is so worth it in the long run. Last night at CVS, I paid $6.46 for $97.51 in products…even my husband was impressed with that trip!
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that sounds like me but sometimes the ladies behind me want to no how I do it.
LOL ….low rise jeans!
I enjoyed this post 🙂
hahaha. i love it. your story made me laugh because that is how i always feel when too. love the low rise jeans comment. love the chatty nervousness. love the lady behind you tapping her heels (ugghhh). thanks for sharing your story!
I think it’s hilarious when the person behind me starts to throw a little fit. Adults acting like children makes me laugh…
lol, Nice
LOL totally love this!! I not only get nervous but I develop a neck issue.. once I step up to the cashier my neck no longer is able to turn to the left, for fear of making eye contact w/anyone that is standing behind me. LOL The neck problem goes away once I get my receipt. 🙂
I love the post. This is how I feel too except I dont really talk too much to the cashiers because I am trying to ensure everything works like it should so I just stare at the computer screen. I would love to know how long it takes you in the stores when you do shop. I feel bad (for my family) when my RiteAid trip lasts an hour (and its literally at the end of my street) because I take so long but yet it doesnt seem that long when i am there.
Hahahahaha!!! My husband and I literally belted out with laughter! That line about the woman behind you looking at your pile of coupons with confusion was HILARIOUS! We can totally relate, (although I’M the one handing over the coupons and going through most of the anxiety lol)! HA! Thanks for that, Collin. Made my day! 🙂
Good news…I’m not the only one out there!
Thanks for posting this, I still feel the same way when i pull out my coupons!! 🙂
I wish I knew how to save that much! I spent 20 yesterday and saved 30 . . and thought I was awesome!! I don’t know how to get things to be that cheap 🙁
But you saved! That is the most important thing!! The only time ppl get totals that low if they have a store that doubles coupons (or triples). I continually save between 85-100% at the drug stores with the right combination of coupons and EBS (or UPs/RRs). But for groceries where I live, I have a choice of 2 chain stores that don’t double and the one I shop at most, I save around 65-75% (sometimes more with good deals).
A modern Shakespeare.
Recently my husband was saying (complaining) there are no more goodies (I think he’s talking about chips and soda) in the pantry. Last year I stocked up at CVS with all the super bowl deals. I haven’t been couponing lately because I was dreading the worst. After reading this post and other comments, I’m going to put on my couponing hat and hit the stores. Thanks everyone!
I too, laughed when I read this! I’ve never had quite the savings you’ve had, but I can totally relate to the sweating, nervousness, and sizing up a Cashier…and all this time I thought it was a Panic Attack, or God forbid, another stroke coming on. LOL
I’ll start chanting Coupon Chaos from now on. 😉
I don’t hand over the coupons one at-a-time. Handed over as a stack, they don’t get scrutinized to death. And as we all know, even a legit coupon may not hold up to the scrutiny of a cashier who does not comprehend the language on the coupon. I just watch to make sure each one comes off the total. Hasn’t failed me yet. I’m not used to writing the prices on the Free or BOGO because I mainly shop at Kroger and they can call up the price instantly on their computers. Besides, I am sure there are some cashiers out there who believe it’s their job to verify the price.
I prefer the youngish male cashiers for the most part. My husband is used to me standing back and assessing the cashiers. He now asks me, “Which line?”
I do hate the instances where all the cashiers on duty look as if they want to kill the next person who comes through line (usually later in the evening).
I am friendly as I walk up and begin the transaction, but don’t really talk up the cashiers, either, unless they strike up a conversation. I figure, the less we talk, the more they concentrate on the task at hand.
I have not experienced the exasperated-customer-behind-me scenario. I am usually purchasing a large amount of stuff, anyway, so if they saw how much stuff I have and got behind me regardless, they aren’t really in a hurry, are they?
The most frustrating experience lately was Wal-Mart telling me they couldn’t allow me to use a coupon over the price of the item (this was post new policy). It wasn’t a trial/travel size and I informed them of their new policy and they did not care one iota. I left ALL of the items sitting in the bags and told them I was headed to Kroger. I thought I would be embarrassed but it made me feel empowered. I was actually spending money beyond coupons, so I figured my money would work just as well somewhere else. There’s always another day and another coupon, so I don’t let it get to me.
I always hand them over together as well. The few times I have tried to do them singularly, or group them with the item they went with, the cashier gave me the shank eye. So now I just nervously give the whole bundle, and try and make my brain focus long enough to match up the beeps with my coupons.
I am not chatty with them either, more out of social awkwardness than anything else. When my husband comes with me though, he’s always blabbering and I feel like, “Dude! You’re going to blow my cover! They’re going to get suspicious, you being a Chatty Cathy – they are going to think you’re trying to distract them while we Bonnie and Clyde their behinds with coupons!”
LOL -” Bonnie and Clyde their behinds with coupons” LOVE IT!! You made my day – just can’t stop laughing over that one!
Bonnie and Clyde!!! LOL I’m seriously in hysterics right now.
LOL!!! My hubby tries to hide when he shops with me. He isn’t fond of the coupon thing even though he loves ME doing the work & saving the money. He just doesn’t want to participate!
I love it. What a suspenseful story!
AWESOME!AWESOME!AWESOME! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! ZXZCXRDDFXCDDCDWRWWEDDDSDWEWHYY TTREW, OKAY, THAT WAS MY FOUR YR. OLD, LOL, HE GOT HOLD OF THE COMPUTER~! By the way, I have YET to save like that, but know it’s coming! 😉
I loved the impatient woman thing… I was in Kmart doing double coupons this weekend and this woman stated loudly ” I don’t know what she’s doing holdin up the line with all them coupons.” I just smiled and ignored her, as I was getting $50 worth of stuff for $3. Who cares what grumpy people think.
You have missed your calling as a drama writer chick! I laughed outloud and my kids said, “what’s so funny?” Let them wonder…
Looking for the right cashier… A lot of people don’t seem to realize what an important part of shopping that truly is! 🙂 You need to find someone intelligent, but not too intelligent. Someone who is capable of running through the coupons(and yes, I have seen those who aren’t), and someone who isn’t going to use the coupons as a study session, and give you trouble about them.
I used to live in a college town, and it was awesome going to Wal-Mart on Friday nights when all of the cashiers were students waiting for the clock to strike PARTY TIME! with minimal managerial attention. 🙂 Talk about a restless bunch who don’t give an eff about their jobs lol.
One of them, Michael, used to get so excited whenever I came through his line. He’d always loudly say how much he hated his job and hooray for me sticking it to the man. I don’t think he really understood how coupons worked (not really sticking it to the man, but whatever), but I didn’t mind at all! One time he sang each coupon out loud as he scanned it.
I think that sometimes Michael started the party a little early. *sigh* How I miss you, Michael.
You made my laugh so hard I cried!lol
It sounds like me when I shop!!! 🙂
Absolutely love it, chuckled the whole way through. Only because the funniest things are those that you can relate. I did the same thing at the grocery store this morning, as I anxiously awaited to trim 62% off my bill with many of the coupons that you so graciously alert us too! I’ve always couponed, but you have inspired me to do so much more, and better! Thanks for all you do, I sincerely appreciate it!!
Loved this post. 😀
WHEW! I thought I was the only one who felt anxiety @ checkout, even though I know that every coupon is legit. I always feel like, they think I am trying to steal from them. I too always scope out the cashiers & luckily have found a few at my favorite stores now that I know don’t mind or are even encouraging about my coupon savings.
oh my gosh!!!! i also thought that i was the only one who felt that way !!! i feel like my heart is going to come out lol!! my anxiety goes through the roof !! at first i even felt a lil embarrased but you know coupons are better than stealing or even those ppl who get on public assistance when they dont need it !! alsoQUICK QUESTION WHEN A COUPON SAYS “LIMITONE PER PURCHASE ON PRODUCT INDICATED”(EX: THE $3 OFF NEW PEDIGREE) WHAT DOES THAT MEAN EXACTLY, IF I BUY 3 DO I HAVE TO DO 3 DIFFERENT TRANSACTIONS?
My interpretation is that you can only use one coupon per item that you purchase. To me, it should say transaction if it means it. But at Dollar General they try to interpret it per transaction. I just go through line more than once.
A lot of coupons say this. It just means that you can’t use two, three, four coupons on one item.
Yes! I just had that experience this morning. I actually had a manager come over and say “Yea Coupons!” I did, however, feel I needed to apoligize to the lady behind me but I floated out of the store and it is the best feeling in the world!!
Great Post..You nailed it to the tee Collin!! I even had to let my Husband read it. He said,”Hey that sound like you!” All you coupon girls are the same! lol He also did say It does take a lot of work to coupon doesn’t it! He even appreciates it more after reading this post.. Thank Collin!!!
You go girl!!! I am the same way. Don’t mess with me and my coupons!!!! If you want me to hurry up then you can pay for my groceries and I won’t take the time to give the cashier my coupons. The sweetest part is repeating loudly (just so the person behind you hears) when you get the receipt “You mean I owed $91.50 before coupons and now I just owe $2.39!” Pair that with a wide smile and a wink and they get the point.
Collin! I’m so proud of you for all the money you saved. I know that exact feeling, and I have one cashier at Wags that I always try to go to. She is wonderful with coupons, and always respects my couponing. I got 4 Right Guard deodorants with little body gels on the outside of them, and a package of Always pads for $2.98 out of pocket, and got back a $2 register reward, which I in turn used to purchase part of a corned beef. 😉
In Canada we can not use coupons like that and the stores do not double or triple them. I try using coupons more often but some stores, if you exceed a certain amount, they need the manager to unlock the machine which is pretty embarrassing. So I rarely use coupons. 🙁
I get what you mean, Melanie. Where I live, the stores don’t double or triple either. And, there is even one store here that has a limit of ten coupons before the cashier needs a manager to over-ride them. (Are you kidding me? What a hassle!) Thankfully though, it’s only that one store that is that way with regards to the ten coupon limit. If they were all like that, I’d probably not want to mess with it either. And, despite the fact that stores here don’t double or triple, I do still save a ton with my coupons & price matching deals.
I love it! This is totally me! I always scope out the cashiers at Walmart, too. LOL!~
Collin, I love your shirt, you’re the cutest dresser. Where did you get it from??
Great story!!!! i feel like i have to wear extra deodarant when i go shopping (thankfully i get it free, so I can double up) just got back from shopping the cashier and the two ladies behind me were excited for me and of course did the name drop for your blog!!!
rofl, that was great! I love looking at the impatients persons face, after the cashier tells me my “final total”, and of course I smile 🙂
I know exactly how you feel!
It is very adrenalizing!
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Love your story! I think most of us have been there at least a few times! What cheeses me off is when I am PERFECTLY organized and the check out takes forever because the cashier isn’t as smart or agreeable as I profiled them to be. I want to say to the person behind me, “Don’t be mad at me! SHE’S the one who doesn’t know what she’s doing!”
I loved reading your post. I think we all feel this way most of the time. When I am in line and have alot of coupons and someone comes up behind me, I now politely say…just want to let you know that I have alot of coupons. Then it’s that person’s choice whether they want to stay or go to another line. This has worked out quite well for me as most people will either say thanks and move to another line or stay to see how I do.
Collin,
Great job and it is a shame when you have to go through all these emotions just to put the finishing touches on all of our hardwork. But the payoff is great and of course you would have Plan B ready if something failed. LOL
I thought I was good saving $11 and getting 3 free items yesterday!
Any hints on how to do that with organic products, we are on a fairly strict diet. No corn syrup, food coloring,etc. Would love any help or ideas. Your site rocks!
I think we have all experienced this exact situation…probably more than once! 🙂 I get anxiety every time I go. One time my husband even noticed my hands trembling. When we walked away, he asked if I was okay and mentioned the trembling hands. I told him that I always get nervous because even after carefully profiling a cashier, you never really know what’s going to happen. I have had some pretty crappy check out experiences, but luckily they are outweighed with more great ones, so that’s what keeps me going back! 🙂
love ya kiddo! thanks for all u do and yes I LOVE IT TOO!
I use to be the lady behind in line (although most of the time I was patient and just thinking it was way to hard to get all those coupons). Sorry but I thought Collin was mid thirties too.
i still need to learn to save that amount . ahhhh im still a newbee
I LOVE it!!!! I don’t ususally read anything on here, but the deals, but immediately this caught my eye. Awesome!!!! 🙂
LOVE IT!!!
I love this post! The impatient one behind you is about as bad as the one who says she doesn’t have time to coupon. Really, no time?? I’m standing in line with my eight year old, six year old, and 11 month old in a baby sling. If I have time anybody does 🙂
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I LOVE this post! That’s exactly how I feel. My hands literally shake my heart starts beating. You described me to a T! It’s such a relief to know I’m not the only one that hands my coupons one by one. Love your site!! Mary 🙂
You have put into words the undescribable experiences of a couponer!!!! I now feel more normal!!!!